list of things about newborns that other sites won't tell you


Almost all sites I've researched for managing my expectations about newborns discussed how a baby could be perfect. They also listed baby's development regarding motor skills, weight, milestones etc. Yes, those are important but those things don't give moms the survival tips they need. Here's my list from personal experience that I can share to you:

1. Your newborn will sleep but you will not have an idea on when or how long.

As they say, they may sleep up to 17 hours per day but you can't panic like "omg, my baby slept for just 16 hours, there could be something wrong!". I tell you, that's normal. Babies will sleep whenever they want to, as long as they want to, even if it doesn't meet the standards the internet is telling you. Unless your pedia told you to record his/her sleeping pattern, you don't have to do it.

Newborns can take a nap for 30 minutes, which is ideal, but they can also take a nap for, say, a minute. That means before you could even put back yourself together and decide to make a cup of tea, your baby will wake up and cry.

2. Your newborn's sleeping schedule, feeding schedule and attitude will change every week. But one thing will not change, your baby will wake up during midnight to dawn. That means you will never be able to enjoy a good night's sleep again until they learn to sleep through the night. My baby's one year old and she still wakes up at midnight, crying, for some unkown reasons

3. Your newborn's skin is very sensitive. He/she is prone to rashes, pimples and other skin problems. Take care of it to avoid irritants. If milk drips on his/her neck, clean it with moist cotton then pat dry. Use rash cream to prevent diaper rashes. There will be times that the baby will cry just because he/she is irritated with the rashes. Then you get irritated because you've done everything but the baby still cries. If this happens, put soothing cream on the area. I'm using Drapolene and it's effective.

4. Your baby will cry but don't take it too seriously. I mean, you should take it seriously but not too serious. If your baby cries, check if the diaper is wet, if he/she pooped or maybe hungry. If not, try to "entertain" him/her. Your baby may cry for hours BUT one thing's for sure, the crying will eventually stop. If you can't soothe him/her, the baby will soothe on his/her own. As our Pedia said, if the baby can't breathe anymore because of crying, a signal to the brain will be sent out to stop the crying. Remember also that your baby cannot talk so whenever he/she needs something, or if something hurts, it will be communicated through crying. Now, use all the intuition that God gave you to figure out what he/she needs. It will be frustrating but just find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Every hands-on moms experience frustration, anxiety and anger (towards life) so don't think you're alone. Find support group and source of strength.

5. Leave your baby. Yes! Leave the baby to a trusted person (usually, the husband) when you need to take a break.

Your babies will not be babies forever. Soon, they will grow, become independent and leave the house. Cherish all the anguish now, don't worry it's not permanent. And oh, take care of your self. A well-taken-care-of mom can take care of the babies properly.

Here's the greatest tip: Keep your sanity. Don't get mad with the baby, with your self nor with your husband. This, too, shall pass.

Knetina's first picture at home

If breastfeeding is as easy as putting water and scoop of milk into a bottle, formula milk wont be popular. I mean, there are lots of things to keep in mind like food to avoid, clogging, soreness, let out of milk, helping your child to latch, etc. I cant even believe that you actually need to teach a baby to properly latch, shouldn't it be innate? And oh, add the judgmental eyes of the people when you breastfeed in public in the complexities of breastfeeding list.

This is the most informative video I've seen so far: Breastfeeding: Getting a Good Latch Every Time

So here's a list of rants:

1. Latching is crazy - if you do it wrong, your nipple will hurt and your milk supply will slow down. So basically, it's everything. Should it be simple? No. How could a first time mom and a first time human know how to work together and perform that dreaded latch? Even if you watch a hundred videos (like I did), and read a hundred articles and asked a hundred moms, latching can only be performed perfectly by you and your baby. So practice, research and practice proper latching. Just make sure it's a proper latch you're practicing. *wink*

2. You are badly needed. The baby can't literally eat without you. It's not just a romantic fancy quote of boyfriend-girlfriend which says "I can't eat without you...". It's crazy, again. When you're hungry and your baby is, of course, as a mom, you will let your baby eat first. The key is that you have to find time to eat even if it's not yet 12noon for lunch or 7pm for dinner. Just eat. You need food to be able to make food for your baby.

3. The low milk supply and slow milk flow problem. This is my major stress. I feel like I have a low milk supply even if I've been doing everything to boost it - malunggay supplements, soup, massage, etc. The only thing I haven't tried is looking for a lactation consultant. Maybe that's the answer. OR MAYBE I dont really have a low milk supply at all. During the first month I got depressed thinking of my milk supply but then after a while I learned to let it go. If I think baby is hungry because he cannot get enough milk from me, I give him formula milk and we're done - he sleeps, I'm not stressed. I know, breast milk advocates will be like "why give him formula milk?". For me, it works. What's the total fret about formula milk? My first baby was breastfed only a month and the rest was formula milk in a bottle and she grew up just fine, perfect and healthy. BUT I still want to give the best for my baby now that I know the benefits of breastfeeding so, as the baby's pedia advised, I pumped milk so that when he gets fussy because the flow is too slow, I can give him the expressed milk.

4. There are lots of things to be considered that needs much attention. Before, when women are expected only to look over the child and are not involved in corporate lives, they can pay attention to these breastfeeding details. Today is different, I want to work and earn money and I need to breastfeed. So there's mastisis, breast engorgement, breast milk life span after expressing, breastfeeding position, hunger cues, etc. It's a lot to take so I took it one step at a time.

My baby and I are still trying to get the hang of our breastfeeding journey. Now I know why it's called a journey. You learn things all through out and you grow together. Will I recommend breastfeeding? Absolutely, Yes.

Here's a picture of my breastfed baby

1. Watching over your baby's "schedule"

Babies, especially the first year of life, have only one schedule: an erratic schedule. There's no point in trying to stick with it or even looking over it. There's no such thing as "at 8 o'clock he will fall asleep and at 10 he will wake up... then poop at 11:15...eat at 11:30...". Newborns will sleep when they want to, as long as they want to, even if it's freaking noisy in the room. Don't think that they will sleep at the time they slept yesterday. They will also cry and poop whenever they want to, and that's not in a schedule. What moms need to do is just attend to what the babies need for the moment. When time comes, around 6 months (3 months if you're lucky) their schedule will be predictable.


2. Dying to get your pre-pregnancy body.

Your pre-pregnancy body aka the good old days will remain a hallucination right after your delivery. Your tummy will be saggy and ridiculously big as if you're still preggy. But you cannot do your exercises yet because you're body is still recovering after delivery. Give your self some time. Accept that you have this ugly tummy for now but then after a year or two you can regain your body back. Patience is a virtue. For the mean time what you can do is wear a waist trimmer or girdle tightly (so tight that you could almost forget to breath) all throughout the day and even at night. This will help your muscles in the stomach regain it's tone and shrink eventually.


3. Prioritizing your baby 24/7

Who said you should attend to the monster every second of your life? Yes. You've read it right. You don't have to be there with the baby always. You need time for your self. Go on and take a bath, brush your teeth, savor your food. Just make sure to leave your baby safe or to someone else while you're doing that. Don't be guilty when you need to make that morning or evening routine. Babies can wait and that doesn't mean you love them less. If you forget to take care of your self you will be irritated and in turn you may channel the negative energy to the baby. A happy mom has a happy baby so take care of your self and be happy.

4. Worrying too much

Watching your baby sleep that you lost your sleeping time? Worried that the baby is not getting enough of your milk or wasn't able to burp? New moms worry too much about everything. Babies can survive in hostile environment. I mean, 2000 BC ago, there wasn't crib to put your baby to sleep, no formula milk, not even comfy clothes! Watch over your baby but do not exaggerate your worries. Just make sure he/she is sleeping safe, nothing that will cover the nose or else the baby can't breath. Burping a baby doesn't mean that you have to hear the burp sound. Just hold the baby upright for a maximum of 10 minutes then you can put him/her down. Milk coming out of the mouth and nose is normal as long as it's not in a form of vomit. You know vomit? It's when your stomach is forcing for food to go out of your mouth, that's not a good thing for babies. When you worry too much or panic, your judgement will be clouded. If something happens, monitor and analyze properly the situation then consult your pedia as necessary.

5. Putting your baby to sleep
Yup, you've read it right. Don't put baby to sleep. "Putting" baby to sleep means you try desperately to swing him/her to make him/her drowsy, thinking that it'll eventually lead to sleep. What I learned from my two babies (a one year old and one month-old) is that when they're really sleepy, they will eventually sleep, no matter how noisy the surrounding is. There could be some crying especially if they're over-tired but then they will sleep right away after a few attempt to soothe him/her. Usually when my toddler cries because she's sleepy, we'll just have to put her to bed, tap her bum and sing some songs, then she'll knock her self to sleep right away. For my newborn, I will just let him stay in bed and stare at the ceiling at midnight without any attempt to put him to sleep. I don't force him to sleep just because it's sleeping time. No, newborns don't know that 12 midnight is a sleeping time. If he gets sleepy, I will just carry him because, usually, babies need an assurance of safety before going to safe and there's no better place to find it than in your arms.

Remember: if babies are sleepy, they will sleep no matter what.

To avoid depression that you're baby's so fussy and sleepy but doesn't want to go to sleep, guide him/her to sleep when he or she is tired. This will make sure that he/she won't be over tired. This is tricky, sometimes I get it right, sometimes I don't. You just have to practice, trial and error would do, don't worry, if he/she cries, eventually he/she will stop crying, that's their nature.


This will be a good read for expectant and new moms: http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/pregnancy/labor-and-childbirth/life-after-giving-birth-expectations-vs-reality-lfrm

There are lots of articles posted online regarding your hospital bag. Some can be considered, yes, but for me, these are the only essential things you would need. This worked for me because I don't give a fuss about anything else than giving birth. I also went to the hospital during my labor unlike other people who wants to be admitted in advance. Since I had normal delivery with my two babies, I just spent 24-36 hours in the hospital.

My Hospital Bag Must-Have Checklist For The Big Day [Labor to Delivery to Discharge]:

1. Important Documents

• Philhealth Documents (for you and your husband)Make sure you have a printed-out Member Data Record. If you're employed, you can get this from your HR Department. Otherwise, you can get it in Philhealth's office.
• Photocopy of valid IDs (yours and your husband's)
• NSO Birth Certificate (yours and your husband's) - just in case. We actually did not use this but we brought it anyway.
• Marriage Certificate - some hospitals need this.
• Your pre-natal book from OB-GYNE
• Recent laboratory test results (Ultrasound, CBC, etc.), if any

2. Clothes

• For Mommy:
• Few Set of Clothes. I brought with me only 3 pair of clothes because I was expecting a normal delivery which means I could just go home the next day after I give birth. On the duration of your labor, you will be using the hospital gown so you won't change clothes too often. If you don't like to wear it, go on bring additional clothes. My advice, though, is that you should use the hospital gown because it's easier to have an IE and deliver with it.
• Lots of underwear. During my labor, the mucus (blood) came first so I was having a heavy menstrual-like blood discharge. This caused my napkin to overflow and I needed to change underwear regularly. Even if you do not have a blood discharge during labor, you may need to change undies regularly because you will have a heavy bleeding after giving birth.
• Tummy Binder! This is one of the best things I brought during my second delivery because I got to wear it before my tummy gets comfortable with its size (big, that is). It helped me condition my tummy that it should go back to its pre-pregnancy size.
• Jacket. Because hospitals can be so cold. Lol.
• Going home outfit. Make sure you bring the outfit that fits you when you were pregnant since your tummy won't be back to its glorious days in an instant. You will still look like 6 months pregnant.
• Cover-up for breast feeding. If you intend to breastfeed after giving birth then bring this. Just take note though that for most of moms that I know, milk doesn't come out right after they give birth so they don't have a choice but to give formula milk. But you may still request to exclusively breastfeed your child since it is your right and it's in the law.
• For Daddy:
• Clothes of his own choice. (Lots of shirts especially if he will do the running.)
• Jacket. Because. Cold. Lol.
• Undies, shorts, slippers.
• Pillows and Blanket for a good night sleep because he cannot co-sleep with you on your hospital bed.

3. Slippers
It's so comfy to have your labor, delivery and recovery in slippers. I mean, I can't imagine wearing sneakers nor sandals that time.

4. Toiletries

• Maternity Pads or heavy flow napkins. I needed a lot of pads during my delivery because of a heavy discharge. I even wore adult diapers on the first 24 hours after delivery just to make sure the bed won't be full of blood.
• Soap
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Feminine wash - can't live without it
• Tissues
• Facial Wash

5. Lots of water and some Snacks
Water sold in the hospital can be so expensive so it helps if you can bring a bottle or two. If you can't bring it during the rush to the hospital like me, you may ask some relatives to bring it for you.

For Baby:

1. Going home outfit and receiving blanket.

This is what the baby will wear when you bring him/her home. You would also need to wrap the baby with a blanket to keep him/her comfy on travel.

2. Feeding Bottles

Some moms are blessed to have their milk supply ready before they deliver. But as for me, breast milk came 3 days after delivery which means at the hospital, the baby needs to drink formula milk first.

Diapers, soap and other things needed by the baby will be provided by the hospital.

6. Infant Car Seat - if you have car and if no one will help you carry your baby.

After delivery, your whole body will ache. Trust me. You cannot even lift a 3-kilogram baby. It pays to bring an infant car seat so you can just relax in the car without carrying anything.

P.S. Although it's called a hospital bag, you don't actually need to buy a specific bag. I used my husband's back pack and travelling bag during my big day.

image from www.huffingtonpost.com