Almost all sites I've researched for managing my expectations about newborns discussed how a baby could be perfect. They also listed baby's development regarding motor skills, weight, milestones etc. Yes, those are important but those things don't give moms the survival tips they need. Here's my list from personal experience that I can share to you:
1. Your newborn will sleep but you will not have an idea on when or how long.
As they say, they may sleep up to 17 hours per day but you can't panic like "omg, my baby slept for just 16 hours, there could be something wrong!". I tell you, that's normal. Babies will sleep whenever they want to, as long as they want to, even if it doesn't meet the standards the internet is telling you. Unless your pedia told you to record his/her sleeping pattern, you don't have to do it.
Newborns can take a nap for 30 minutes, which is ideal, but they can also take a nap for, say, a minute. That means before you could even put back yourself together and decide to make a cup of tea, your baby will wake up and cry.
2. Your newborn's sleeping schedule, feeding schedule and attitude will change every week. But one thing will not change, your baby will wake up during midnight to dawn. That means you will never be able to enjoy a good night's sleep again until they learn to sleep through the night. My baby's one year old and she still wakes up at midnight, crying, for some unkown reasons
3. Your newborn's skin is very sensitive. He/she is prone to rashes, pimples and other skin problems. Take care of it to avoid irritants. If milk drips on his/her neck, clean it with moist cotton then pat dry. Use rash cream to prevent diaper rashes. There will be times that the baby will cry just because he/she is irritated with the rashes. Then you get irritated because you've done everything but the baby still cries. If this happens, put soothing cream on the area. I'm using Drapolene and it's effective.
4. Your baby will cry but don't take it too seriously. I mean, you should take it seriously but not too serious. If your baby cries, check if the diaper is wet, if he/she pooped or maybe hungry. If not, try to "entertain" him/her. Your baby may cry for hours BUT one thing's for sure, the crying will eventually stop. If you can't soothe him/her, the baby will soothe on his/her own. As our Pedia said, if the baby can't breathe anymore because of crying, a signal to the brain will be sent out to stop the crying. Remember also that your baby cannot talk so whenever he/she needs something, or if something hurts, it will be communicated through crying. Now, use all the intuition that God gave you to figure out what he/she needs. It will be frustrating but just find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Every hands-on moms experience frustration, anxiety and anger (towards life) so don't think you're alone. Find support group and source of strength.
5. Leave your baby. Yes! Leave the baby to a trusted person (usually, the husband) when you need to take a break.
Your babies will not be babies forever. Soon, they will grow, become independent and leave the house. Cherish all the anguish now, don't worry it's not permanent. And oh, take care of your self. A well-taken-care-of mom can take care of the babies properly.
Here's the greatest tip: Keep your sanity. Don't get mad with the baby, with your self nor with your husband. This, too, shall pass.
Knetina's first picture at home
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